What a deeply honest and self aware share. I think by pouring so much of what you’ve observed in the self into this piece and your substack as a whole you can release dying in obscurity. You’ve shared so much of yourself in an authentic and unencumbered way. The spiritual landscape can be dire, confusing, frustratingly predatory and misguided. Not being able to trust the inner voice is such a realistic struggle. I know on my spiritual path I started off by testing my intuition and feelings with small things that seem inconsequential then as I built my faith and trust muscles I was able to take bigger leaps based solely on my gut or intuitive feelings. I know you said your aim is to surrender to God but then the fear that God will ask you to do uncomfortable things gets in the way. Perhaps asking whichever higher power resonates most for the ability to surrender could be a start. Thanks for sharing✨
Hi, I appreciate that you are being vulnerable in your writing. Believe it or not, that is a big step. Your inner voice told you to write this post, and you did, and now you are able to share your journey with others-something that you spoke about in your post.
I have a different life journey but I just came out of years of walking through a long dark hole and I couldn't see the light at the end of it. But I kept trudging (sometimes I did not want to be here) and eventually the light emerged. I am still walking towards it but now I can see where the light is, I can access it more easily, I can find the light more easily within myself, and the dark tunnel is no longer as profoundly, hopelessly scary as it used to be. I no longer feel oppressed by that darkness. It's so hard when you feel lost and bewildered in life but there is always a way available for you...I promise. We just have to keep our hands and heart open.
A willingness to remain open and vulnerable, and tune into yourself is key. Sending love & lots of compassion 🌺
I am sorry you have been feeling like this Kitty. I can feel some of the pain you describe so close to my skin. Partly I know we have to let go of capitalist ideas of what success and big things mean - and partly we have to heal the wounds in us that keep us just small in general.
I am sending you so much softness, I hope you can be compassionate with yourself and that you find what you desire, that you can get to a place that makes your heart sing.
Sending love and compassion from my heart ❤️ to yours ❤️. Thank you for sharing such deeply personal experiences, feelings, and insights. A deep bow and a lotus for you 🙏🪷
What a deeply honest and self aware share. I think by pouring so much of what you’ve observed in the self into this piece and your substack as a whole you can release dying in obscurity. You’ve shared so much of yourself in an authentic and unencumbered way. The spiritual landscape can be dire, confusing, frustratingly predatory and misguided. Not being able to trust the inner voice is such a realistic struggle. I know on my spiritual path I started off by testing my intuition and feelings with small things that seem inconsequential then as I built my faith and trust muscles I was able to take bigger leaps based solely on my gut or intuitive feelings. I know you said your aim is to surrender to God but then the fear that God will ask you to do uncomfortable things gets in the way. Perhaps asking whichever higher power resonates most for the ability to surrender could be a start. Thanks for sharing✨
Hi, I appreciate that you are being vulnerable in your writing. Believe it or not, that is a big step. Your inner voice told you to write this post, and you did, and now you are able to share your journey with others-something that you spoke about in your post.
I have a different life journey but I just came out of years of walking through a long dark hole and I couldn't see the light at the end of it. But I kept trudging (sometimes I did not want to be here) and eventually the light emerged. I am still walking towards it but now I can see where the light is, I can access it more easily, I can find the light more easily within myself, and the dark tunnel is no longer as profoundly, hopelessly scary as it used to be. I no longer feel oppressed by that darkness. It's so hard when you feel lost and bewildered in life but there is always a way available for you...I promise. We just have to keep our hands and heart open.
A willingness to remain open and vulnerable, and tune into yourself is key. Sending love & lots of compassion 🌺
I am sorry you have been feeling like this Kitty. I can feel some of the pain you describe so close to my skin. Partly I know we have to let go of capitalist ideas of what success and big things mean - and partly we have to heal the wounds in us that keep us just small in general.
I am sending you so much softness, I hope you can be compassionate with yourself and that you find what you desire, that you can get to a place that makes your heart sing.
Sending love and compassion from my heart ❤️ to yours ❤️. Thank you for sharing such deeply personal experiences, feelings, and insights. A deep bow and a lotus for you 🙏🪷